Sunday, May 31, 2009

THINGS MOVIES TAUGHT TO DALE BHAGWAGAR

By Dale Bhagwagar :

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack
you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

5. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

6. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

8. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

9. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Dale Bhagwagar’s pajamas.

10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

12. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

13. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

14. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

15. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

16. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

17. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

18. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.